How Rewards Teach Kids to Follow Rules for the Wrong Reasons

Are rewards just another form of punishment in disguise? Ever thought that the key to nurturing genuine cooperation in your child lies beyond the promise of a star chart or a treat? In this episode of Peace and Parenting, I dive deep into the often-overlooked pitfalls of reward systems in parenting and how they can inadvertently erode the parent-child connection.


As a mother who once believed in handing out star stickers for good behavior, I share my journey of discovery and realization. I revisit the time I created an elaborate star chart to encourage my daughter, Esme, to complete tasks and exhibit positive behavior. Initially effective, this approach crumbled as Esme lost interest and I realized it was a form of manipulation rather than authentic motivation.


Join me as I challenge traditional parenting norms that prioritize compliance over connection. 


In This Episode

  • The pitfalls of reward-based parenting
  • Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation in children
  • How rewards can erode parent-child connection
  • Benefits of connective parenting over compliance-focused methods


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